I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
