Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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