I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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