Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
