To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just high enough for therapy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
