Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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