You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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