based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
