Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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