if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
there is puke in my bra ... again
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