we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We had to coat check the pizza.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
