what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
