I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
