It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
