I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
