Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
