its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's Friday. Sex?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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