It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
