I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
