he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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