My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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