it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
