new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
