Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize