Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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