I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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