Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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