some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize