Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
