A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
