just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
