i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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