yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
