Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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