oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
