the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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