the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
