I feel like abortions should bother me more
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
