But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
