Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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