and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
