Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
