i think i have two assholes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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