I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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