Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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