Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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