apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
