I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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