Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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