The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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