it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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