We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He has the fingertips of a God
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
