No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize