She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
