Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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