Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
