Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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