Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
