Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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