I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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