she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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