dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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