feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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