And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize