this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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