worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize