dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
