for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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