I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
