Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
