is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My vagina just clenched in fear
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
