What did we do last night that was yellow?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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