Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
