The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
