dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
