She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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