Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
