i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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